totally looks like...

This Guy I Know Totally Looks Like Sad Keanu Reeves

"we won't fight unless we're provoked..."

sorry if you came here expecting some incredibly long and amazing post, but this video was begging to be shared...





this makes me want to roll around in the grass while laughing hysterically.
so many hilarious quotes...


there is basically no way you can hate this :D

"I've never let my school interfere with my education." - Mark Twain

well, hello again.


I've been quite busy lately, getting used to senior year....and 2 1/2 hours of band practice a day...
but hopefully I will be able to post something about once week.


this is basically just a update, since I haven't really had time to thing about posting anything. so I will try to find something to add to entertain you...ah, here we go:

this is your adorable quotient for the day....enjoy it :)

_______________________________________

by the way, you can now contact me (I don't know why you'd want to, buy whatever ^_^ ), you can email me at irelandsavage@gmail.com

or follow me on twitter: @irelandsavage 

hope you guys have a good three day weekend!

(don't die)

an unfortunate incident involving a hershey bar.

a week ago a big group of teenagers from my church took an end-of-the-summer trip to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio.

I should have known not to go.


I should have remembered that "guess what, Ireland? you don't have any friends going. you don't have any friends in that church and it was too late notice to bring someone from 'the outside' (aka someone not from our youth group)"


I should have told my mom to make my two little brothers stay home.


I shouldn't have done a lot of things, but I did.


I'm an idiot.


It all started on the trip there.


it's about a 9-10 hour drive to Sandusky in a charter bus.


10 hours filled with screaming children (my youth pastor's two kids), no comfortable way to sit to take a nap, a smelly bathroom, a portable DVD player thats battery only lasts 2 hours so I can't finish Lord of the Rings (so sad...), bad fast food (*COUGH* mcdonald's *COUGH*), annoyingly loud teenagers.....


I could go on.


we FINALLY arrive in Sandusky to discover that we'll be staying in a lovely hotel motel called Super 8. and here is the lovely sign out front....

I really don't believe that first line. I mean, sure, the rooms seem clean; but for some reason they give me the distinct feeling that if I lay down on the bed I will be enveloped in a layer of invisible radioactive slime. no joke.


and the third one-  they really shouldn't put 2 separate "perks" mushed together like that, some idiot is gonna be real upset when the internet for his laptop doesn't work from the bottom of the deep end...and he would probably win if he sued them. I mean, the evidence is right on their sign- false advertising.


a motel down the street has a sign that reads "free wifi breakfast". I don't even want to know what that means....


the only good thing about that first night was that we got to go to a local Cici's Pizza (if you don't know what that is.....for shame) where as soon as you walk in they yell "WELCOME TO CICI'S!!!!!!!!!" and they also shout out the different kinds of pizza you can get from the buffet as soon as they come out of the oven...


"MACARONI AND CHEESE PIZZA ON THE BUFFET!  it's cheESY!!!"


or


"HAM AND CHEDDAR MAKES OUR BUFFET BETTER!"


so much more exciting than our Cici's back home.


the next day was pretty awesome of course. Cedar Point isn't called "America's Roller Coast" for nothing. they have like 16 roller coasters or something crazy amazing like that. but that is pretty obvious and there isn't anything extremely interesting about rubbing in your face how much fun I had that you didn't have.


except for that one roller coaster that broke down every time we got in line so we never actually got to ride it.....

17 seconds. 120 mph. 90 degrees up, 90 degrees down. I dare you not to be excited about this.

anyway, onto the trip home.


I decided to wear the shirt I bought at the park because it was pretty epic and it matched my stylin' plaid shorts perfectly.


That was a bad idea.


for the first couple of hours went pretty much as expected, but not quite as bad as the ride there.
we watched a movie, a chaperone passed us out some chocolate, some of the boys in the back we messing around- throwing trash at each other, laying in the aisles, and walking back and forth with a sleeping bag over their head....the usual amusing crap.


then I looked out the window to the right, and the day went downhill from there...


there was a green van, and it was rapidly approaching the side of our bus. and then it hit us, and scraped along our side right next to me.


we had to pull over for and sit for about half an hour while we waited for the cops to come, to collect all of our names, numbers and addresses (we were witnesses, yay); and then called our parents to inform them that we might be late getting home.


I was leaning forward in my seat trying to get a glimpse of the lady who hit us when the girl across the aisle says "Your chocolate exploded on your seat"


at first I was just really grateful she didn't automatically assume I pooped myself or something...


somehow I had sat on the hershey bar without realizing it (what the heck?), and made a mess of it on the seat. 


I wiped it up and then sneakily asked one of my brothers if there was any chocolate on my pants.


he immediately burst out laughing- never a good sign.


I had chocolate all over the back of my shorts, and the bottom of my brand new shirt.


WHAT THE HECK?!


when we got to McDonald's (ugh) for lunch, I had to rely on 90's fashion and tie my jacket around my waist to hide the evidence. I looked like an absolute idiot the rest of the day for walking around in 90-something degree heat with a black jacket wrapped around me.


yeah. awesome.


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my 17th birthday was Sunday, two days after we got home from Ohio. I still haven't gotten my presents yet because my mom hasn't had time to wrap them (I don't understand the point of wrapping paper- you buy it, wrap stuff up all pretty, then they rip it off and throw it away. what a waste of time)


band camp for this year's Marching Band show started Monday, and that night me and some friends went to our Cici's for dinner and then saw A-Team (epically awesome movie- go watch it!) as a sort-of birthday party for me. I remember when birthday parties involved dumb games like Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey, paper hats, cake....but I'm a teenager, and we are way too cool for that junk now :)


my summer is officially over now that band has started, though. it was good while it lasted, I guess.


I'm actually a little excited for school this year...can't wait to be a senior and finally look down on all the peasants in ninth, tenth and eleventh grades....too bad for them :P


this is actually one of my longer posts, just trying to get you guys caught up on what I've been doing and why I haven't posted recently.


I imagine that one day when I'm famous this blog and all the awesome people (you) who followed me from the beginning will get to share in my triumph....and then I wake up.


dreams are of no use to me if they won't come true...

"you can have an extra dum-dum just for having cool parents"

my youth group helped with this kids club for daycare kids the past four days.


on Tuesday, a kid came in with arrows on his forehead and hands. they were those little washable tattoos.


It was extremely exciting for all of us leaders to see an Avatar fan that young (the real avatar, not the one with those freaky blue cat people....) so our leader decided to ask him about it.


Michael: hey, the Last Airbender! what's up, kid?


kid: what?


Michael: you've got those arrows, like the avatar guy.


kid: I'm not "Av-uh-tar"....my name's Drew.


Michael: I meant you have those arrows like the character Aang from the TV show had on his head and hands....


kid/Drew: *blank stare*


Michael: you know...it was on Nickelodeon...


Drew: my parents made me get these....I just thought they looked cool.


Michael: oh.




needless to say, we were all very disappointed at this kid's obvious lack-of-culture, but we had to give his parents props for being possibly the coolest adults ever.


let's compare them, shall we?

Aang

 

I didn't actually think to get a pic of Drew (plus, that would be kinda awkward) so this random kid from the internet will have to do. I drew what the kid's tattoo looked like on him......

see what I mean? he must have some hardcore parents....

wait, who are you again?!

well....this is awkward....

its been about three months since I've posted anything here.

if you noticed and are really upset and would like to kick me in the stomach and/or claw my face off, good luck with that. I would also suggest that you visit a therapist to discuss why exactly you have an unhealthy obsession with my blog.

if you didn't notice, disregard that paragraph and we can just pretend none of this ever happened...

t

I never meant to take a break like that without any warning whatsoever....I was going to take a week or two off, and then come right back, I swear.

it turned into me having almost the entire summer off, and it was fine for the first month.

It was all downhill from there.

I would be watching a random show on TV (aka Phineas and Ferb...don't ask) and my
guilt over not posting anything would take over....

                                             Phineas: Hey Ferb, what should we do today?
                  Ferb: Well, we're definitely not gonna write a blog post, if that's what you mean.


I would be taking a nap, and suddenly wake up, freaking out that I hadn't written anything that day.


I would spend hours brainstorming, trying to think of something, anything to post...coming up empty every time (you don't really think about it when you're sitting at school, waiting for june so you can sleep in and stay up late....but summer gets boring real fast, and then all you're left with
is 24 hours a day of staring vacantly at a wall...)

it was so sad.

I finally gave in, and here I am.....with absolutely no clue what else to say....


but don't worry, I'll be back.


maybe.

 UPDATE:
 and you know, this re-starting of my blog deserves a blog make-over....again :)

oh, and I can finally change the quote of the month....its been stuck on May since, well, May

I hope I'm this cool when I get old and wrinkly and gross...

I was cleaning out my flash drive today- deleting old files I don't need anymore- when I came across a list of "Mrs. Davis Quotes" from last year.

Mrs. Davis was my pre-calculus teacher at the high school last year. She was old, she had a strange obsession with math, and was extremely insane.

but she gave us candy. what more could we ask for?

these are the things she would say to us on a daily basis:



- “Oh my gosh! You’re like the Jolly Rancher magnet!!!”



- “Cheatin’ Man: down and dirty”


- “Sha-ZAAAAAAM!!!”


- “Need Answers? Check the ceiling!”


- “You know, I’m very into fashion.” (“Oh, we’ve noticed”)


- “… and that’s just peachy-keen dandy.”


- “How do I know? ‘Cuz I’m smart.”


- “You’re getting’ kinda beastly yourself.”


- “I’m the math beast!” / “Yeah, I’m pretty beast.”


- “Time to take ROLL….”


- “GET MY LIGHTS!”


- “…and if you think that’s a threat, IT IS!”


- “I feel awkward not being here.”


- “Don’t have a nervous breakdown yet, we have plenty of time for nervous breakdowns.”


- “I am missing one of my jewels…Oh, its Violet the Cripple.”


- “I’m completely mystified by your actions.”


- “He’s got really weird pathways.”


- “I told you, I’m not trying to kill you. I’m doing a pretty good job of killing you, but I’m not even TRYING.”


- “You were fooling around with an amazing pencil.”


- “Hey Ladybug.”


- “You’re my New York twin.”


- “That’s fa-hunky.”


- “Pull your shirt up! What have you become, a sex goddess?!”


- “Don’t cry again, Jason. It’s so un-manly….so disgusting. (he just stands outside my door all day, crying)”


- “What have you smoked at lunch today?!”


- “Welcome to Geeksville. It’s a great place to live. Have some candy.”


- “I don’t mean to make you feel dumb…”


- “Yeah, you look a little allergic today.”


- “You people are sick.”


- “What the heck is wrong with this thing?!”


- “Crum-bum ka-doodley pops.”


- “NO, I’M NOT ALRIGHT!!”


- “I don’t get upset when things are bad…unless they’re BAD.”


- “Go to the laundry room, there’s a lot of graph paper there I hear.”


- “Who would want to go to a bank under an umbrella in the middle of the field?”


- “Look at that old lady skin….ewww.”

- "Get me a Jolly Rancher too, while you're in there. NO! NOT PURPLE! The purple ones are gross!"

 - “They own your SOUL!!”


- “….well shooty-tooty.”


if only I had gotten this stuff on video.

bomb applesauce torch worm shower leather jacket knife.

yes. yes I did just write a list of random words and pass it off as a legit title.

dang it! I should have put "legit" in that list. it's basically the best word ever invented.

I'm gonna get to the point, I promise.

um.....yeah

I can't remember...

oh right.

I decided that I'm just going to put a bunch of random stuff smashed together in this post.
it won't make sense and it will probably be confusing but I don't care. I should have called this "ADD Post".

I went to google today and it has pac-man instead of the logo and you can actually play it and stuff and I was really excited about it and wasted about 10 minutes playing it over and over. and over.

I am going to post some pictures that I drew eventually. including that severed foot. because I feel like it. eventually.

yesterday I remebered that I used to have a diary about 8 years ago and there's probably something really funny in there so I'm going to try to find it and post some stuff from it. Are you excited yet?

um...let's see....what else.....

I was sick for the past two days. on Wednesday I woke up and when I sat up I just fell over again. I thought I was going to be stuck there for hours because my mom wasn't home and no one would here me if I started yelling and man, I really should have gotten one of those LifeAlert things and then I wouldn't have to worry about it because with LifeAlert "you can live alone without ever being alone" and they show that lady laying on the floor in her house and she's like "help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" and I just laugh at her but I'm not laughing now because I'm in the same situation and the room is spinning and oh crap I'm too young to die and then I realize I can just crawl to the stairs and then slide down and I'll be that much closer to the TV which as you know is the only important thing when you're probably going to die.

but I feel 80% better now.
my throat is still hurting pretty bad but its way better than when I had Scarlet Fever 2 years ago.

I've been wondering for a while if I shared my birthday with any supa fly famous people so I checked but it turns out its just a bunch of barely famous people no one remembers, like Tempest Bledsoe.

But I do share my birthday with Jerry Garcia, who I couldn't care less about, but he got an ice cream flavor named after him, so that's an admirable accomplishment. and Coolio- ew rap. and Herman Melville, the really weird dude who wrote such brain-busting books as Billy Budd and Moby Dick.

 and Francis Scott Key which is super ironic because I defiled the National Anthem when I wrote a parody of it about boredom and it starts off with "I'm so bored I could cry, I don't know what to do. Sitting here all day long, watching videos on YouTube...."

I should really make a video for that.
and August 1 is also Friendship Day. doesn't that just warm your heart?


you know that awesome movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off? of course you do. I wanna watch it again.

and I feel like posting these:

that last one is definitely my favorite.