commen sense should come in pill form I think it would help solve the problem. (but make sure to include thorough directions)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on stuff:

on a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(shoot,  that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
 

on a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
 

on a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
 

on some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...its a bit late for that)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(oh, I thought heating it would make the genie come out and grant me my wishes....)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
 

on Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(we could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
 

on Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
 

on most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
 

on a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(I'm a bit curious)
 

on Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(you're kidding me- I had no idea)
 

on an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(crap! I just wanted to eat them without opening it!)
 

on a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(I don't even want to know what happened to the guy who tried this...)

I think that if we stopped putting obvious instructions and warnings on things, eventually the stupidity problem would take care of itself... 
__________________________________________
more stupid things people do:


1. people point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? do I point at the stove to ask whats for dinner?

2. people are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. people say "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too". well no duh! what good is cake if you can't eat it? are you just gonna sit and stare at it?

4.  people say "it's always the last place you look". of course it is. why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? do people do this? what is wrong with them?!

5. people say while watching a movie, "did ya see that?" no loser, I paid $10 to come to the theater, buy popcorn and a drink, and then proceed to stare at the floor for the next 2 hours!

6. people always ask "can I ask you a question?"... didn't really give me a choice there, did you, jerkface?

7.  people say "life is short". what the heck??? Life is the longest thing anyone can  ever do!!! what can you possibly do thats longer?


8. people always say "like" and "ya know?" and stuff of that nature ALL the time. it is supremely annoying.

this is why I never learn anything during class.....(UPDATED)

this I what I spent my entire history class on Monday doing, while listening to my teacher be a complete jerkface.

in case you can't read my ranting at the top of the page, it says:

"I'm not going to argue with you, but I will lecture you about my side of the argument, along with a million other things that have nothing to do with what we're talking about, just because I like to flaunt how smart (I think) I am, and make you feel like an idiot. But I won't argue with you."

and yes, that is me shooting an arrow through his head. laugh.
__________________________________
UPDATE:

I had soup for lunch again.  apparently Nova doesn't like my choice of foodz tho...

nova: ew. I can smell your dead stuff....

me: wha-? oh, you mean my soup?

nova: yes. it has dead chickens in it.

me: mmmmm, I love the smell of dead things in the morning....

nova: the best part of waking up is carcass in your cup!

this was made funnier by the fact that my soup actually was in a cup, and because nova is a vegetarian (while I am an active member of PETA- people eating tasty animals)

p.s.- the only thing lighting this very epic looking pic is the glow from the behemoth mac that I'm using again. (you can tell how dark and creepy the room is behind it.)

I'm a PC, and Windows 7 was my idea.

I'm sorry, but I've always been dying to say that. It would be more fun if I was on TV or something, but the internet is close enough....


anyways.


I'm at school and there are classes in all the computer labs, so I went scouting for a rogue computer I could use.
I found this one in a darkened, abandoned classroom. It's a Mac (sadly) and I swear the screen is like 30 inches. almost. its one of those kind that the computer is in the monitor, so it earns coolness points for that, I guess. I'm just glad they're running windows on it tough, or I'd be lost.


The reason I'm freaking out though is because since the screen's so big, its almost blinding me. meaning that people can walk by the classroom and see me on tis thing, but I can't see them very well. This is probably what it feels like to be onstage under a bunch of spotlights, so now I know why singers and stuff never get stage fright- they can't see the audience. 


Its like the whole "If I can't see you, you can't see me" thing. Its actually very frightening for me though because I don't know what will happen if I get caught in here...... do they care if I'm using the behemoth Mac? I sure hope not.
__________________________________________
well that was close. two girls just walked by and one of them tripped over the door frame of my mac cave...luckily my ninja skills allowed me to dive behind the podium before I was spotted. 


wow I really want to jack this computer.


even though I'm definitely a PC, this giant screen and blazing awesomeness is growing on me.
too bad I'm opposed to grand theft mac.


I don't exactly have a reason for this post, I just wanted to use this amazing opportunity to do something..... productive (if you can call a blog that)

I think that I have a rare disease where I get bored too easily. it seems like every five seconds, I'm bored again.

and if I don't find some way to entertain myself, my insides get all compressed and stuff and I feel like I'm going to implode.

thats right. implode. 

exploding is for the weak.

anyway.

I'm thinking I should think of a name for this, but it has to sound totally legit so I can be like, "I have *insert awesome name here* and people will feel bad for me and give me stuff. mostly money.

oh right. it already exists. its called ADD. why have I not been diagnosed with this crap yet?

SYMPTOMS OF ADD or ADHD:

• Often fidgeting with hands or feet, or squirming while seated. >
• Having difficulty remaining seated. >
• Having difficulty awaiting turn in games or group activities. >
• Often blurting out answers before questions are completed.
• Having difficulty in following instructions. >
• Having difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities. >
• Often shifting from one uncompleted task to another. >
• Having difficulty playing quietly.
• Often talking excessively.
• Often interrupting or intruding on others.
• Often not listening to what is being said. >
• Often forgetting things necessary for tasks or activities. >
• Often engaging in physically dangerous activities without considering possible consequences. >
• Being easily distracted by extraneous stimuli. >
• Often fails to give close attention to details. >
• Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities. >
• Often does not listen when spoken to directly >>>>>>

wow. really..... thats like me in a nutshell. (I have the ones with > yeah. its a lot of them)

I don't know what to name this post. help me out here.

I had a very eventfull weekend. are you ready for this?!?!


I fell down the stairs.

thats right.

all the way to the bottom.

It was pretty sad actually. here's the story:
since school had been out for like weeks my entire schedule has been backwards. I go to bed at like 4am, and wake up at 2pm.

yep. I'm officially nocturnal.

anyways....so Saturday night, I was not tired at all so I stayed online until like, 5am (omigosh, past my 4 o' clock bedtime xD)
and then I was like, "I have to get up for church tomorrow. CRAP.

so I went to bed and eventually fell asleep....at about 6:13am. I had to wake up at 8.
at 8:45am my dad starts yelling up the stairs at me to "get your butt out of bed, we're gonna be late again!"

so I hurredly get ready, and start running down the stairs, wearing socks of course (you can see where this is going...)

next thing I know, I'm about 10 steps farther down the staircase than I was 2 seconds ago.
my dad and little brother come over to see what the heck all the noise is...

dad: (coming around the corner) what was tha-? oh. did you fall down the stairs?

brother: hahahaha (and other annoying little brother behaviors...)

me: possibly. I can't remember. (insert my hysterical laughter here)

dad: stop making all that noise, you gonna wake the mom!

me: (getting normal voice/behavior again) oh, don't worry, I'm fine....falling like that didn't damage me or something. so don't baby me...

brother: looooserrrrrrrr....

me: *ignores brother* why does my face hurt....?

dad: did you hit it on the wall, or the handrail...?

me: I don't think so. I'm like in the middle of the stairs, and I don't remember going sideways during my flight.

dad: well. hurry up, we gotta go.

yeah. so meanwhile mostly everything I'm saying in between my questions and stuff is lots of maniacal laughter, and its quite creepy. I sound like I'm high or something (and I wasn't, I promise....) my dad probably thought I was going insane. getting less than 2 hours of sleep before undergoing a strange fall us is not the best thing for your mental health, apparently.
so now the right side of my jaw is in throbbing pain, I'm laughing like a psychopath, and I'm on my way to church. goody.

there you have it. funfun.
so last night I decided to take sleepy pills so I would actually be able to get up for school today, although I was hoping we wouldn't have school, and yet, here I am. its snowing outside and I'm at school- what is wrong with this school system?!

but I digress...

anyway. I just recently learned how to swallow pills (it was quite an exciting experience, let me tell you) and I was super pumped to try it again. my mom told me to only take one, and that after half an hour I would start feeling tired.

an hour and a half later, I started feeling a little....off, so I went to bed. too bad I almost couldn't wake up for school this morning and nearly missed my bus. woot sleepy pills that take to long to kick in.

happy monday :P

Happy Valentine's Day, reflection in the mirror

does that sound bitter? it does sound bitter....I'm sorry.

no I'm not actually, I mean- I'm not trying to sound bitter, I just do.

basically what it boils down to is- I hate Valentine's Day.

that's right. for as long as I can remember, I've hated it.


It's not like I think love is stupid, and everyone should just go die or something. it just seems pointless. Why do you need a certain day to be all nice and give things to people? if you really love someone, shouldn't you do that all year anyway? am I the only one who thinks this is stupid?!?!


I'm pretty sure anything you give a girl could be taken wrong, anyway.


flowers: yay, they're pretty. but WAIT. those flowers are dead! they had to be ripped out of the ground by some florist or something to be here! ahhhhhh! you evil flower killer!!! even if they don't LOOK dead yet, they will. eventually they will get all brown and droopy, and just remind your girlfriend that everything dies....and that eventually she will get old and droopy too. (not a good start to the night) I don't even think they smell that good....


chocolate: well these taste amazing, and I'm all for candy. but they last like three days (or less, if your girlfriend is a fatty....) plus she might think "are you trying to make me fat?" or that your cheap or something...I would be happy with it, but I'm not like most people



fancy dinner: woohoo, dinner. don't we eat dinner every night anyway? plus for this one, even though you get amazingly tasty food, its really expensive....AND you have to dress up all fancy or whatever. I would rather wear sweatpants and a t-shirt, and go to Wendy's or something than ever go out for dinner at some expensive place. but that's just me.


jewely: this one might actually score you some points with your girlfriend. but personally, I think jewelry is the stupidest thing ever invented. so yay, its shiny. so....now what? you put it on and wear it around- why? it doesn't even look cool. why do you have to adorn yourself to go out in public. aren't you happy with yourself just the way you are? if not, go to a therapist- it would be way cheaper than wasting money on diamonds and gold and such. I wouldn't want any guy who thinks its okay to waste money on that crap.





You see what I mean? everything has a downside. what a waste of time. Its just another holiday devised to make you spend all your money on your girlfriend (who will probably never think whatever you got her is good enough, anyways.)


I'm so glad I'm single. too much pressure. what's the point of dating before you're twenty? its not like you can get married that young anyway, and isn't that the point of dating? to find the person you eventually want to end up with? so useless. Most teenagers these days are constantly dating and breaking up with people. it would be better to just wait til you're at college, or at least move out to start dating. there's no point to it.


wow. well, I've done enough ranting for today.
enjoy this virtual flower- lucky for you, this kind can never die!

absolutely, totally, and, in all other ways, inconceivable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtthPQ3L5KA

watch it. I dare you. (that means you're legally obligated to go watch it right now. seriously)
this video comes from the slightly-sick mind of Moog (writer of the aforementioned Mental Poo blog) did I just use the word "aforementioned"?! something must be seriously wrong with me for my brain to be spouting out words that make me sound like a snobby British guy at midnight......

anyhoo........

I had to actually do some work this.....evening, because there is a super legit chance of me actually going to school tomorrow. As of right now, we are only scheduled for a two-hour delay. (but there's also a chance that we will be cancelled by 6am, so don't hold your breath...)
I think that I did an amazing job bs-ing my paper to sound like I actually give a crap about it (which I just don't at this point) and I rewarded myself by promising to try to go to bed before 4am. Try being the key word, obviously.

today I started reading The Princess Bride (and for anyone who doesn't know what that is, go slap some awareness into yourself and report back here after you have at least seen the movie) Most people have seen the amazing movie of the same title, but few have read the book (which was written in 1973....so it's like, old) (lol) I have always considered book versions to be better than the movies, and so far, I am right again. books>movies. sorry, thats just how it is :P

I'll make this post be super short because I....don't really have anything else to say....so...........




oh wait! My dad found this awesome picture....and now the world will finally know what happened to the dinosaurs :)

adventures of a time-wasting, procrastinating, follower leech. this is why I should never be allowed on the internet.

well today I woke up at 2:03pm....
and since then I have been down here on the computer not doing anything productive. 

Nova supplied me with the links of 2 people following Allie and I decided to check them out.

-edsfunnypages.blogspot.com 

-noordinaryrollercoaster.com

Of course I had to check them out, I mean, they follow Allie so they must have some hilarity in their bones. I was right.

this led to me becoming a follower leech. While I was on Ed's page, I decided to check out some of the people he follows that are his favorites.....it was an uber exciting adventure. I found many awesome blogs that deserved to be followed. From booger walls at Steam Me Up, Kid (which I completely sympathize with, because my little sister does the same thing) to taking a picture with Richard Simmons on No Ordinary Rollercoaster, all the way to Fairy Imported Urinal Gemstones at Mental Poo, and finally nazi velociraptors at Monster Apathy. All in all, a very rewarding day. Seriously, go check them out for yourselves, you will not be disappointed I promise.

Wow I really have to go to the bathroom, but I've been holding it for the past 2 hours so I could finish my adventure and share it with you. Don't you feel loved again? It's amazing the kind of bad situations I put myself into for this ridiculous blog. Be right back.

---------------------------------------------------------

Oh, good news. While I was upstairs my mom informed me that I have to make dinner for my entire huge family again because this is apparently my full-time job now. grrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaat. I'll be back eventually to finish my story.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Well, dinner is a stupid thing to have to make. Usually I'm pretty good at anything that comes with directions, but tonight was a different story.
mom- make the grilled chicken and mashed potatoes!
me- yeah, whatever....
mom- what did you say?
me- I said "I'm on it", ma'am....(mumbles)

So I stick the gross chicken in the oven (honestly, what's the point of grilled chicken, where's the good in it without the fried skin on top???) and then I open the potatoes box, and what's inside? A bunch of loose potato flakes. Now what is a potato flake you ask? I have no idea. But they're just hanging out in there, not in a bag or anything at all. gross. What ever happened to plain old home made mashed potatoes? I'm sure that with all the time scientists took to figure out how to make mashed potatoes out of flakes they could have made boatloads of the good kind. But thats their problem, so whatever. and now I have nothing to eat for dinner. woot for me! :P

if you were in MY head, you would go insane in less than 30 seconds. seriously. no really, I'm not kidding.

well hello world. it is now 10:03pm. Monday, February 8th.

seems as though I haven't posted anything in a week and a half....sorry about that.
the problem was that I had about 16 inches of global warming outside my house and school was closed for a while.

we should probably take the let it snow sign down... since I don't have access to a computer at home during the day, I couldn't post anything. The only reason my dad let me on tonight was because I told him I had homework which I procrastinated for a week that I had to get done. Of course I actually do have homework, but I'm not gonna do it :) I'm risking failure in college english to blog for you. Don't you feel lucky?

well, to make my blogging silence worth it, this shall be my longest post yet.

to start things off, here is an amazingly hilarious, but also somewhat disturbing, article.
anything with pics like these deserves to be read:

So the other day my mom bought this new bathroom cleaner stuff....and I was reading the side of the bottle when this caught my eye:

yeah. I freaked out because I had already gotten a little on my hand before I noticed this on the side. you know, because you can always trust bottles with creepy men on them.

 
 

the upside is that I got these epic rubber gloves that make me feel like a superhero. so I'm pretty sure I got the good end of the stick.

Oh, by the way. You should read this hilarious conversation me and Nova had tonight. (this just goes to show that two insane people should never be allowed to get acquainted.)

and continuing with the assumption that you want to know every single thing that has happened since I last posted, here is another insignificant fact.

About...oh I don't know, 7 years ago my older brothers were obsessed with Nascar and Jeff Gordon (back before it was just for rednecks and such) and we got this latch hook rug. I did like two rows on it before giving up, and this past week I found it. Since there was no school, I've been working on it and look how far I've come!

 
halfway there! its amazing what

extreme boredom with no outlet can accomplish.... its pretty sad actually....

have you noticed how using pictures makes it easier to tell my life story? its completely awesome how much time I'm wasting right now.I haven't even eaten dinner yet. CRAP.

are you enjoying this random thoughts paragraph? me neither. oh well. it is now 1:02am and I couldn't care less if I even make sense anymore. whose line is it anyway? rerun was just on. I forgot how much I love that show. BEST SHOW EVER. omigosh I'm so hungry. They better hurry up and close school for tomorrow. I realllyyyyyyyyy am not ready to go back yet, plus I haven't done my homework yet.... oh yeah! before my easily-distracted mind forgets, I decorated some foodzzz for the super bowl.....too bad my team didn't win :(

exciting, no?

well then.........I shall leave you with some of my best quotes ever. because it 1:17 and my brain is working too hard to be any more clever right now :)

"Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die."

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. "

"my stripes are cooler than your stripes!"
"I think its melting in my pants."
"i put Goofy to shame!"
"No one knows the future, but we can all affect it."
"Who would want to go to a school wrestling match?! that's like watching a sex tape..."
"macaroni's cheesier than apples!"

"febreze is like the duct tape for odor....)

thank you, and goodnight d(-_-)b