this probably counts as the worst excuse for a blog post. ever.

I had to take my english SOL test today.

can you feel the utter lack of excitement oozing from that sentence?

I can.

I've decided that being a hobo would be more exciting/fun than going to college, getting a job, and having a "normal" life, like I am currently (sort of) on track to accomplish. these awesome facts may sway you to become a bum who lives under the bridge....or is that a troll? anyway...

proof of hobo superiority:

1) you never know where you're going to sleep that night (unless you go to one of those sketchy homeless shelter things that people go into and never come out of), so you have tons of fun adventures like scaring gross mangy alley cats out of their old refrigerator boxes so you can sleep there; or digging a hole to lay in, and then waking up to someone throwing dirt on you because they think you're actually a dead body in need of burial

2) you get to use your ninja hobo skills to beat up raccoons who try to steal that gunk at the bottom of some old lady's trash can (aka- your dinner)

3) people never bother you when you're chillin' against some old abandoned building covered in meth smoke, mud, and puke that occurred after eating out of that old lady's garbage can. (apparently that doesn't even qualify as "food" or something....) so you get to hang out for hours and you don't even have to move or appear to be alive in any way

4) you don't have to take showers. nothing is expected of you so you don't even have to try at all. you can just marinade in the grossness that is you for days, weeks, months, heck even years. because, really, when you're a hobo who are you trying to impress?


5) you get free food- sometimes, if people are feeling all "I'm-going-to-feed-a-hobo-and-single-handedly-save-the-world-from-all-poverty-and-nastiness" they will buy you a big mac or something. granted, mcdonald's isn't the best, but when you're just sitting there waiting to die basically, that stuff is like the food of the gods or something! and its free, so who gives a crap where it came from?!

you see? and this list could go on and on.....
in a few years you'll find me chillin' in an alley in New York City, training all the mangy cats and dogs to go steal food for me. seems like a promising life.