I love days when you're actually allowed to hurt people.....even if its just pinching.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, stalkers!

this is one of my favorite holidays (besides my birthday, and now I don't like Christmas anymore because of Satan breaking in and stealing our souls while we sleep) because everyone wears my favorite color around, so its sorta like its my day. plus, I mean, my name's Ireland, so.....

WAIT.

you're not wearing green?!

*pinchy pinch pinch pinch*

you: ow!

me: haha....fail! maybe you should've worn green, you jerk-who-doesn't-like-Ireland (me or the country, whichever works, because by not wearing green, you've personally offended me)!

you: I am wearing green!

me: no you're not! I don't see any on you!

you: I'm wearing green underwear.

me: LIAR!! that's just what people say when they forget to wear green and don't want to get pinched!

*pinch pinch*

ha. foiled your brilliant plan, didn't I?
________________

before I get on with the "special st. patrick's day edition" of my new weekly shirt design thingy (I really need a name for that), I will share with you the story of the epically ridiculous adventure I had yesterday. this could be a supremely long post, by the way.

story time! *story time jingle plays*

drumline practice usually starts around 4pm, so right after school (3:05) I went down to the band room to see if we were actually having practice at the high school (usually we practice at the middle school in their cafeteria because we need the space), but no one was around, so I hurried to catch my bus so I could ride over to the middle school (about 5 minutes away, by bus)


when I got to midget-land (no offense "little people" I promise....), I settled in the hallway outside the cafeteria with a copy of The City of Ember (I've been wanting to read it ever since I saw the movie) to wait out the next half an hour before practice.


around 3:45, I started getting worried. usually people would start arriving by now, and I was still alone...


I reached in Juneau (okay that sounds wrong....)...my backpack....for my phone so I could call my brother.


I flipped it open and turned it on, just to see "low battery, shutting down"


crap.


I had just charged it on sunday night, and hadn't turned it on since then. stupid piece of-


anyway, by this point it was 3:48 and I knew I was going to be late so  I grabbed my stuff and set off for the high school.


carrying about 25 pounds on my back, I dashed down the long school driveway, crossed a highway, walked along thee road for about 60 yards, wandered through the food lion parking lot (and got lots of weird stares), jogged over a mid-size grass lot, across another road, and into the high school parking lot.


It was now 4 o'clock, and my legs were burning (I don't exercise much, okay?).


I slowly ran (don't want to get yelled at by a teacher) across the whole school back to the band room, to find it locked up with the lights off.


what the heck?!


I even checked outside and saw the band truck still sitting there, with all of our stuff in it, so I knew they couldn't have snuck off with out me....


I figured practice was cancelled and no one told me, so I trudged up to the office to call my mom.


at around 4:17 my brother finally pulled up, and as I hopped in he said (quite angrily) "why didn't you ride the bus to the middle school?!"


me: I did.


him: why are you over here, then?


me: no one was there so I came back.


him: you walked here?


me: well, yeah.


him: *shakes head*


me: what?


him: practice is at 5, at the middle school. its from 5-8. you should've just stayed there!


me: well I didn't know! I though I was going to be late and practice was here....but then I thought practice was cancelled,and I was really tired from running....and....and.....ugh. crap. well, no one told me. I even checked my email this morning to make sure....


him: they told us last thursday, and at practice on sunday!


me: well I can't remember important stuff like that!


him: you should write it down!


me: I don't want to, that's stupid!


him: maybe that's why you don't remember this stuff! you're probably one of those people who can't remember stuff unless you write it down!


me: shut up! whatever! it doesn't matter!


him: hmmm......I'm gonna go to taco bell. I want a burrito.


we finally got to the middle school again around 4:30, and people started arriving like 10 minutes later.

end of story-time! *ending jingle*

thankfully no one knew about my frantic running-all-over-the-place
except me and my brother.

and now all of you.....

oh.
_____________________

shirt time!

ha. get it? this shirt is for those st. patrick's days when you just don't care/ you're feeling too lazy to wear green, and you still won't get pinched because of a technicality.

and no one can even take offense at this; because hey, I'm Irish, and it doesn't offend me!

this "guiness" isn't really up to standards, but this is the best the website had.

looks like freakin'  chocolate milk.

oh well.

_______________________

UPDATE: my 50th post (yeah, this probably isn't a big milestone to most of you guys...) is coming up soon, so I'm gonna do something awesome.

what? I have no idea. any suggestions? yeah.....I'm pathetic. 

Merry the-devil-is-going-to-steal-your-soul-while-you-sleep Day!

guess what I found out yesterday?

if you mix up the letters in "santa", you get "satan".

how did I not know this?!

this is the kind of thing that scars my childhood.

I was already uncomfortable with the idea of an overweight old man breaking into our house at night while we're sleeping and stealing our cookies, even if he did bring us crappy presents.

this just makes it worse.

I mean, who knows what kind of mischief he could have gotten into every year with no supervision like that?

unbelievable.


UPDATE: we have an eyewitness account! somehow they caught him on camera....

see how he's kinda translucent and cartoon-y? its one of his many mind tricks....making you think he's all "not real" and junk.
sketchy.

I shall ramble like a madman.

welcome to my new layout!

hopefully this will be the last time it changes......I just kept getting bored with the other ones.
this is way cooler. the dinos are my mascots now, so that should keep things awesome.

hopefully.

anyway,
the only reason I'm posting this is because I haven't posted in a few days, and I'm procrastinating sleeping right now. I still haven't gotten used to the stupid daylights savings time thing yet.

valid reasons? no, not really.

especially since this will probably be the most boring thing you've ever read.

hmmmm.....what to say, what to say....

am I lazy for not actually having ideas? sadly, that answer is most likely yes. but I don't care.

as long as I have something interesting and (hopefully) funny every few days, it should be enough to keep you coming back, right?




no?




crap.
well, sorry for not being entertaining 24/7. I will try harder from now on.

its just so much easier to be awesomely random and spontaneous in person.

maybe I'll do a video post soon?
that would be awesome....

I love thinking out loud. or as some would say "talking to myself".

but that doesn't mean I'm insane or anything. usually.

this post is just a rambling waste of time, mine and yours. 
sorry.

um...
yeah.

I'm ashamed of myself for passing this off as an acceptable post.
maybe this badly-drawn paint picture will hold you over?

t

here ya go. thats good enough until tomorrow.....or tuesday.....or whatever, right?
it better be -.-

I like to name inanimate objects.

I realized recently that I name a lot of my stuff.

why? I have no idea.

I guess it entertains me to be able to say "where's Daisuke?" instead of "where's my iPod?"

because its totally cooler and everyone takes me seriously that way and immediately sets about trying to find Daisuke for me, thinking he's an important diplomat or something, and I can just sit there watching TV while I wait.

obviously.

well, once I noticed this, it made me all happy and stuff, because its just one more reason why I'm better than everyone else.

you heard me.

here are some examples of this amazingly creepy and weird hobby I have:

this is my vibraphone, Zephyr.

and yes, he is the bestest vibe ever. I know you're jealous.

and these are my skateboards, Zane and Mizuno. (all my things have such spectacular names...)

last but not least, here are the dinos. they are supa hardcore. (see how gangsta I am? remember, I'm part black....)

yes, they are flippin rad. no, you can't have them.

sorry.

___________________________

by the way, I commented on Moog (from Mental Poo)'s post about......well, here. check it out yourself and guess what? he commented back! (read his post first, it will make more sense)

Ireland said...

wow. thats almost an entirely different language.

maybe THEY should be the ones in kindergarten....

 



Moooooog35 said...

ireland: ALMOST an entirely different language?

I've watched National Geographic shows about pygmies and understood more.

so I figured since I pretty much never get comments on my stuff, you guys are probably just a bit nervous about it. you're probably thinking: what if she never reads it? or if she hates my comment so much that she verbally abuses me over the interwebs?!?!?!

well, good news. I won't verbally abuse you (all the time...), and I read all my comments, so no worries (maybe I'll even comment back)!

so.......comment on my posts before I find you and eat your first-born child!!!!

or I might, ya know, like get all pms-y and whine all the time about how no one loves me.

the usual stuff.

UPDATE: I found some more of my stuff that has names.
let me introduce you to:.....

Juneau, my awesome backpack...

and my video camera, Ziven (pronounced ZEE-ven).

this is getting out of hand.

if your pants are on fire, being a liar becomes less important.

you know those shirts with all the clever sayings on them?

the ones that, whenever you see them, you instantly think "oh my lasagna, I want that shirt" or "wow. I say that same thing all the time!"

those shirts?

well, I've decided that I could make some that are just as good, if not better.

you ready for this?

that was just a warm-up.

people who say that are stupid, and deserve to go die right here in front of me, so I can watch.

you heard me.

onward.

 

 

I've decided to try to make one awesome shirt per week....

like a tradition or something.

should be entertaining. 

this is one of those times when I'm too tired/bored to care. well, I DO care, I just can't be all creative and aawesome 24 hours a day....I'm not the energizer bunny.

yeah I'm being lazy and posting a facebook note. so sue me.
:D

1. Made out for more than 3 minutes?
yeah.....no.

2. Slept in a different bed?
yep, for camp and stuff

3. Made out in a movie theatre?
nooooooooo

4. made out with 2 different people in one night?
no.

5. Thought your cousin was hot?
thats gross. I don't live in west virginia

6. Been in love?
nope.

7. Slept past noon?
every day there's no school. duh.

8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?
o.O gross.

9. Gone over the speed limit?
I've only driven 3 times, and I was way too freaked out to go faster than about 30 lol

10. Painted your room?
greeeeeeeeeeen

11. Drove a car?
yesh. hopefully I'll own one soon :)

12. Danced in front of your mirror?
haha no.

13. Gotten a hickey?
ew. no.

14. Been dumped?
nope. I'm a dumper, not a dumpee.....that sounds gross actually lol

15. Stole money from a friend?
not more than $5

16. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
only if they have a scraggly beard, a car that smells of weed, and a bag of candy for me. obviously.

17. Been in a fist fight?
not exactly, but I love beating up my little brother :) I'm so nice...

18. Snuck out of your house?
pshh heck yeah. the best times are when no one knows where you are o.O

19. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
probably

20. Been arrested?
ha I never get caught...

21. Made out with a stranger?
you know it.

not.

22. Left your house with out telling your parents?

same as number 18....?

23. Had a crush on your neighbor?

wel.....yeah. years and years ago.

24. Ditched school to do something more fun?

I wish I could get away with that. :|

25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same or opposite sex?

dont think so......if I did it was family

26. Seen someone die?

nope

27. Been on a plane?

no

28. Kissed a picture?

um...no. thats weird.

29. Slept in the opposite sex's bed?

see #25

30. Love someone or miss someone right now?

kinda

31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

all the time, when its not frickin 30 degrees outside

32. Made a snow angel?

oh yes. and mine always come out awesomely :)

33. Played dress up?

pshh. yeah right. I wasn't, nor am I, the typical, girly "I-want-to-be-a-princess" type

34. Cheated while playing a game?

it was worth it.

35. Been lonely?

yeppers.

36. Fallen asleep at work/school

almost every day. what fun is school when you could better spend you time having awesome dreams and stuff?

37. Been to a club?

no....

38. Felt an earthquake?

dont remember. probably not.

39. Touched a snake?

heck yeah. snakes are amaaaaazing!

40. Ran a red light?

not yet :P

41. Been suspended from school?

noooo

42. Had detention?

once in eight grade because my history teacher was stupid and kept giving me tardies for no reason.

43. Been in a car?

of coures not. my family still uses the ol' horse-and-buggy

44. Hated the way you look?

yep. when I was younger, then I decided I didn't actually care.....

45. Witnessed a crime?

not really. just things like people running a red light....or littering or something

46. Been lost?

for like 2 seconds, so it doesn't count.

47. Been to the opposite side of the country?

nope. just along the east coast.

48. Felt like dying from embarrassment?

dying is a little extreme

49. Cried yourself to sleep?

not for a while

50. Sang karaoke?

sadly....but it was just rock band/guitar hero

51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?

sometimes

52. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?

only once. it was dr. pepper, and that stuff BURNS!

53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

all the time. makes you feel like a little kid again, no?

54. Kissed in the rain?

no

55. Sung in the shower?

haha yeah....great acoustics in there...

56. Had a dream that you married someone?

yeah. sometimes its really freaky like when I married The Joker or Spongebob.....thats just disturbing

57. Played getting married?

nope.

58. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

I'm not that stupid

59. Ever gone to school partially nude?

gross. I'm not one of those cheerleaders/sluts

60. Been a blind date?

nope

61. Sat on a roof top?

yeah. I have to put up the christmas lights every year xD

62. Didn't take a shower for a week?

ew.

63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?

yeah lol

64. Played chicken?

probably. I can't remember

65. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

nope. thank goodness

66. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?

I wouldn't believe them.

67. Broken a bone?

no

68. Been easily amused?

haha heck yes

69. Laugh so hard you cry?

a few times

70. Cheated on a test?

that test deserved to be cheated on. it wasn't a good man.

71. Forgotten someone's name?

those are the best situations ever.....not.

72. Blacked out from drinking?

beer is gross

73. Played a prank on someone?

I'm a freakin ninja. I can set the prank up and be away so I can watch the action from a distance within a minute >.>

74. Gone to a late night movie?

latest was like 11pm

75. Made love to anything not human?

wow. no.

76. Failed a class?

nope. hopefully it never happens.

77. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?

oh yeah. I was 6, and those legos looked like candy.

don't judge me.

78. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?

wow....no

79. Cheated on a girlfriend/boyfriend?

nope.

80. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?

yeah. its my sisters birthday besides being the whole we-are-a-country-and-we-rock-harder-than-your-grandma-on-crack day.

81. Thrown strange objects?

we chuck mallets around here. duck and cover.

82. Felt like someone else?

um....?

83. Thought about running away?

all the time....

84. Ran away?

yeah...I just ran around the neighborhood, and then came back because I forgot my "stuff". but when I got inside, my show was on, so I stayed. xD

85. Had detention and not attend it?

nope. I only had detention once on eighth grade for no reason, but I went anyways

86. Made parents cry?

dont think so.

87. Cried over someone?

of course

88. Owned more than 5 sharpies?

yeah. sharpies make your head go dude-what-the-flip-is-that-smell?-oh-its-a-marker-huh-that-smells-awesome and then you pass out.

89. Dated someone more than once?

nopes

90. Have a dog?

nope. my dad's a mailman, so it wouldn't be the best course of action....

91. Own an instrument?

I have a recorder and two homemade ocarinas....and a keyboard.

92. Been in a band?

marching band xD

93. Drank 25 sodas in a day?

that would be AWESOME

94. Broken a cd?

nope.

95. Shot a gun?

a BB gun.

96. Been on facebook for more than 5 hours?

its a sad fact to admit to....

97. Fell asleep at the computer?

yes, and its not very comfortable.

98. Have a major crush on someone right now?

not really. (I would never say major anyways.)

99. Have a religion?

yeppers. go Jesus!!!!

100. Thought about what people would say at your funeral?

hopefully nothing bad or mean....that would suck.

///diversity day\\\

and yes, I totally stole the title from that episode of the office...but, let's face it. I can't be original all the time, and the office is one of the best places to steal inspiration.....
The Office 102 Diversity Day

anyway.

today in english we read an article that a college student from Notre Dame wrote about the small amount of black people that go there.

logically, this started a whole conversation about racism and minorities....

it was very exciting.

all of the sudden, Bethany's head snaps up....


bethany: oh my goodness, I just realized that I only got into this program (early college) because I'm asian!!! (not sure if she was being sarcastic...)


mr. smith: *laughing* I like that......that's funny.  (what the heck...?)


bethany: but really! I mean, the seniors only have one asian, too!


(class laughs)


ethan: well we have an asian, a mormon, catholics, black....


bethany: a polish guy, some christians, irish, german, italians, we used to have a mexican.....we even have a lesbian!!!


(more laughter)


bethany: I guess this means we beat the seniors. they don't have a lesbian, unless you count garrett.........he's pretty close....


maran: we have all our minority bases covered!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

we can keep this kind of thing up all class, when we're lucky.

my head just might explode.

you learn a lot of life experiences when you're surrounded by thirty 5-8 year olds.

let me explain.

little kids don't understand sarcasm.
I was at that church daycare thing again wednesday night, being a bad influence on people's kids, when I noticed this little annoying 6-year-old named Megan staring at me..

megan: why don't you have contacts?

me: because they cost money and I don't have any of that- it runs away from me, screaming like a little girl....oh, sorry. no offense or anything-

megan: ....was that a mean thing you just said? 


me: no. just forget I said anything. anyway, and I don't have a job.....

megan: my cousin has contacts

me: well, your cousin has money

megan: no, he doesn't. he doesn't even have a job, his parents give him money

me: well, thats good for him.

megan: why don't your parents give you money?

me: because they don't have any.....?

megan: they don't have any money? where do you guys live?!

me: in a box.

megan: WHAT?!

me: in a box, you know, like on the street.

megan: what do you eat?

me: whatever we find behind the dumpsters in the alley, or sometimes nothing, depending on the day....

megan: you're weird and crazy.

me: thanks, but I think I already knew that.
~~~~~~~~~~~
even other adults have a hard time knowing whether or not I'm being serious.

one of the other girls, named Brooklyn, got poked in the eye during game time, so I took her to the bathroom so she could put a cold, wet paper towel on it (apparently that makes little kids feel better....who knew?). on the way back, we passed an adult who looked at us confusedly (I don't care if its not a word) when he noticed her holding her eye.

adult: what happened?

me: we got into a fight at the water fountain, and I punched her in the face, probably giving her a black eye....

brooklyn: *giggles*

adult: *looks at us like we're crazy* Um.....?

me: I'm kidding. really. don't freak out.....*mumbling* dang, he has no sense of humor....even the little kid got it....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
one thing being around these psychos taught me is how ridiculous life gets the older we get. it used to be so easy....

 

see how happy I looked? back then the biggest drama going on was me finding a sneaky way to toss my green beans under the table during dinner. those things were gross.

_______________________________________________________________

so today we had a math test, and I would say that about 90% of us just completely bombed it. 

I probably got about a 20 on it.

we have been learning a bunch or crap over the past few weeks that has been more words and symbols than numbers, and I've pretty much given up on math. its for chumps anyway.

this is me during math class:

 

                                     

 

 

 

  

its all down hill from there.