this probably counts as the worst excuse for a blog post. ever.

I had to take my english SOL test today.

can you feel the utter lack of excitement oozing from that sentence?

I can.

I've decided that being a hobo would be more exciting/fun than going to college, getting a job, and having a "normal" life, like I am currently (sort of) on track to accomplish. these awesome facts may sway you to become a bum who lives under the bridge....or is that a troll? anyway...

proof of hobo superiority:

1) you never know where you're going to sleep that night (unless you go to one of those sketchy homeless shelter things that people go into and never come out of), so you have tons of fun adventures like scaring gross mangy alley cats out of their old refrigerator boxes so you can sleep there; or digging a hole to lay in, and then waking up to someone throwing dirt on you because they think you're actually a dead body in need of burial

2) you get to use your ninja hobo skills to beat up raccoons who try to steal that gunk at the bottom of some old lady's trash can (aka- your dinner)

3) people never bother you when you're chillin' against some old abandoned building covered in meth smoke, mud, and puke that occurred after eating out of that old lady's garbage can. (apparently that doesn't even qualify as "food" or something....) so you get to hang out for hours and you don't even have to move or appear to be alive in any way

4) you don't have to take showers. nothing is expected of you so you don't even have to try at all. you can just marinade in the grossness that is you for days, weeks, months, heck even years. because, really, when you're a hobo who are you trying to impress?


5) you get free food- sometimes, if people are feeling all "I'm-going-to-feed-a-hobo-and-single-handedly-save-the-world-from-all-poverty-and-nastiness" they will buy you a big mac or something. granted, mcdonald's isn't the best, but when you're just sitting there waiting to die basically, that stuff is like the food of the gods or something! and its free, so who gives a crap where it came from?!

you see? and this list could go on and on.....
in a few years you'll find me chillin' in an alley in New York City, training all the mangy cats and dogs to go steal food for me. seems like a promising life.

I wish the sky was green....it would be so much cooler that way.

I'm getting a car. 

exciting, right?!?!?!

we're buying it from my uncle in maryland.
its a 1991 red, convertible, Toyota Celica. check it out:

 









sadly, since I haven't finished my mandatory 45-hours of driving yet, and don't have my liscense, my dad will be driving it to work and stuff. but I still get to use it to practice on, and to brag about it to my friends. its a rad car. I'm excited.
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I was bored today, so on facebook I found out what my name would be in japanese.

eventful day, no?


yeah right. sorry for another short post, but not much interesting has happened so far this week. new post tomorrow (and hopefully it will be longer....) 

drawing pictures in paint makes me feel good about myself.

this is a masterpiece. (especially considering how bad I am using ms paint and drawing with a computer mouse)

this took me about 15 minutes to draw (I know, sad) so this is all I'm going to post today.
(I'm really just too bored to think right now)

after school I'm helping my sister move into her new town house, so I should have plenty of fun stories for my next post....

the rapist wants you to throw him away.

after drumline practice friday night, 
me, kevin, and heather went to taco bell. why? I don't know.

so eventually we were sitting there talking about things that make no sense, and lots of really weird stuff that I can't quite remember.
kevin was the only one with his trash still. it was sitting there, mocking me. I couldn't take it anymore.

me: kevin throw your crap away.

kevin: no. I don't feel like it.

me: but it wants you to. it told me.

kevin: you can't hear my trash!

me: sure I can. I could also hear my trash when it told me to throw it away- thats why I threw mine away, by the way, not because you told me to. I can hear my own trash.

kevin:  but you can't hear mine! because its my trash! but your trash didn't say anything. I didn't hear it.

me:  you can only hear your own trash, remember?

kevin: yeah, but I paid for that food, so I can hear the trash....technically, its my trash.

me: we're getting off topic here. your trash wants to be thrown away.

heather: (speaking as trash) "throw me away!!!!!"

kevin: my trash doesn't sound like that.

heather: (growly-like) "throw me away!"   

kevin: that just sounds like a rapist.

me: well, the rapist wants you to throw him away.

and so we've come full circle :)
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this past Saturday was my first drumline competition of this season. we thought we did awful- there were like 3 different tempos going on at once, and we were hardly ever together, but, somehow, we got second place.

while there I had a dr. pepper, 2 mountain dews, some skittles, and a pack of blue sour punch straws.

now, this didn't affect me too much because I'm used to soda and candy.

on the way home we stopped at a convenience store, and I had six bucks burning a whole in my pocket. I decided that since I've never had an energy drink before, I was going to buy a Monster. I had to ask a few people what the best kind was, and then set my sights on a green bfc.

if you don't know much about Monster, a BFC is 32 fluid ounces of energy drink, so you can probably figure out what BFC stands for. (if not, think harder).

 

needless to say, it was probably the closest I'll ever come to being completely wasted/stoned.

it was kinda a mixture of being drunk and high.

it was completely ridiculous. apparently my system can handle that much awesomeness at one time .....

sadly I can't remember specific things that I did that were funny, but I do remember a lot of rofl-ing (literally). I wish I could remember something interesting at least.

the only part I remember is playing truth-or-dare (yes, stupid thing to do anytime, but especially retarded when you know you won't remember what you admitted to in the morning) with two of my friends on the bus ride home. that happened pretty soon after opening the energy drink so I was still.....somewhat lucid.

best. drink. evaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr.

yeah, eventually I realized I would crash so I decided to go to bed, therefore I wouldn't fall into a wall or something.

I went to bed around 1am, and lay there for about 3 hours before even starting to get sleepy. the whole time, I was dizzy and my arms and legs felt tingly. I was pretty sure I was gonna die. and I had that feeling you get the day before you get the stomach flu, so I was preparing myself for a major puke-fest.

somehow, miraculously, I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in (which never happens to me, and since I was all drugged out, you would think I would roll all over the place). since I didn't wake up on the floor (or covered in puke), I figure I probably passed out into a sugar coma sometime during the night. a happy thought.

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ps- watch this video, it sums up my feelings about lady gaga (shudder) perfectly. watch it. NAOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7kFi14nsl8

 

*insert title here.....*

I watched a pretty awesome movie last night, it was called Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
it was epic.

it was made back in the eighties, so the special effects and gore are pretty pitiful, but still.
the theme song is so cool it kinda makes up for it.....even though clowns suck.

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all of the comics I've made up to this point are up now, but they're really small so you have to click on them to be able to read them.

this is my favorite.....

I'm going out of my mind, and I'll be out of ideas pretty soon.

I was thinking today (I should really stop doing that)....and I noticed something super important.

so we've got woman from man
                      female from male
so, logically, shouldn't girl actually be something like woboy or feboy?
(personally, I think woboy sounds cooler- its like whoa, boy! get it?)
or maybe we should get new letters for the prefix....like teboy or paboy...

these are the things that go through my mind on a regular basis.
I know its not normal, I never claimed that I was (and, honestly, why would you want to be normal anyway? thats just no fun at all!)
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you may have noticed this already, but
I just recently realized that I am physically incapable of taking anything seriously.

let me explain, here are some examples....

whenever my mom comes into the livingroom to find me and a couple of my siblings chillaxin' in front of the TV (yes, I did just say chillaxin')....and she starts to yell something like "Get your butts up and clean up this floor!!!", the first thing I do once she leaves is immidiately burst into laughter. I can't help it, the look on her face is just too amusing to me for some reason.
this also happens when Stan (one of the instructors for my school's indoor drumline) yells at us during practice (when we're sitting around doing nothing instead of practicing) to "Stop dickin' around!" in his hilarious old man voice :)

another example:
if someone gets hurt, no matter how seriously, I start to laugh (after saying something along the lines of "oh, stop whining and get up, it doesn't hurt that bad!" or "wow, you should really watch where you're going....", or, most commonly, "FAILLLL!!!!"

am I a bad person?

anyway, so if you ever have a pet die, or if you have a presentation for school that you just want to "run by me real quick", don't tell me about it. just walk away and find someone more sympathetic to tell it to, because all you'll get from me is a chuckle and a few sarcastic comments, free of charge.

my mom actually used to tell me that I would be a good school nurse (yeah mom, thanks for setting my hopes real high!) because whenever one of my little brothers or sister got hurt, I would always put a band-aid on it and be real helpful. I guess she never paid attention well, because I made fun of them, too. If I was a school nurse, every scraped knee or bloody nose would get a "You must be really clumsy to trip walking across a flat surface..." or "What did you do this time, run into a pole?! hahahahaha...." and I would be fired within the first week.
because that's just the way I roll.
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just so you know, the first few episodes of the new season of Stickin' Around will most likely be up tomorrow, and they are just as funny (if not way more) than season 1......

I'm a snot-nosed druggie. oh, and we're gonna build our own embryo army. you in?

(the optional sub-title for this post would be: the quadratic formula can go die in a hole)
*sniffle*

hey, world. I might be dying right now.

maybe.

probably not.

for some reason, medicine doesn't like me...it doesn't seem to be doing any good at all...I've been bringing my meds to school all week and if I get caught by a teacher or something they'll think I'm a drug dealer, so thats a good thought.

in health today we were having all kinds of fun conversations about babies and pregnancy and things of that nature.

it was....insightful.

apparently, a monkey can be a human's surrogate mother.  
yeah.
all mammals technically could. so, if you wanted your baby to be born from an animal, it can be done. (also, humans can be implanted with, say, puppies, and be able to give birth to them. gross)

it might have been the strangest class I've had this year. or ever, for that matter. I'm a little disturbed.

my teacher also said that there are tons of frozen embryos in America because of people who have infertility and other issues, and that because of this, our generation will have a whole new set of morals to deal with when it comes to babies and things of that nature.

so, our generation will be left with no money, no jobs, and an army of frozen embryos.
sure makes you have hope for the future, doesn't it?

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p.s.- you may have noticed the new pages that I made in the top menu....
        you should go check them out. I'm making new stickin' around comics to start off the               second season....and they will be posted in a few days, hopefully :)

the dread booger spider, a heffalump, and bloody eyes. happy monday.

on the way to school this morning, I noticed there was a booger on the side of the seat in front of me....okay, ew.

so I was like...huh, thats weird. I've never seen a booger on a bus seat before.

and then it started moving.

let me tell you, I'm not past believing that eventually things as mundane as boogers will mutate and want to take over the world, so my first reaction was oh shinizzle, its starting...

it wasn't. turns out the booger had legs. it was a flippin spider.

yes. a spider that blends in with boogers. thats a new one.

I would put a picture up here for you to compare, but seeing as I don't know the official generally accepted name of the spider, I can't look up a picture on google. sorry.

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oh, and I went driving yesterday.

very frightening experience for me, because I had to drive The Heffalump, which looks like this:

aka, the 12-passenger van that my family owns. I don't have my own car yet, obviously.
I'm honestly worried more about the other people on the road than myself, because if I got into a wreck, I would probably walk away with a few scratches, whereas the other person would die.

but I've only been driving twice before...

1st time- I drove my dad's 20-year-old subaru hatchback around my high school's parking lot. and since I'm afraid of stick-shifts, I never went above 1st gear.

2nd time- I drove with my sister to feed these dogs she was watching for a friend of hers, all of about 4 miles from my house.

this time, I drove for 38 minutes. around other people. on main roads. in the heffalump.

I'm not that great a driver yet, and I love the right shoulder of the road, apparently. really I just don't want to get close enough to the middle because I don't want to run into another car.
whatever.
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also, I've been sick-ish and stuff all weekened. its like strep throat/stuffy nose/runny nose/cough/sniffle/sneeze disease.

epic.

I would say that on Allie's pain scale, I'm about a 6.

and if you're too lazy to go read her post about this, here's the pic:

the desciption for number 6 is: "Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now."

yeah. thats me. if I ever get to 12, someone better call a professional for me, because I'll be like that woman in the commercials that says "help, I've fallen and I can't get up!". (in other words, I'll be writhing about on the floor in pain, and won't be able to see anything with my eyes all filled with blood and such like that)